My lady just showed me this post on facebook. I was in tears laughing at it.
I DON’T CARE IF THIS STATUS HAS ME SLEEPING ON THE SOFA TONIGHT BUT IT HAS TO BE DONE…. Standing in Asda yesterday doing a little bit of shopping, we had planned a nice Sunday dinner so we were down getting few bits and pieces needed to throw this dinner together…. Trolley full and it was time for the till….. Stacking stuff onto the counter and the other decides to tell me she has Farted….. So there I am awaiting a smell whilst throwing the rest of the stuff on and all I hear from her is a whispered… “Oh my god Adam… my fart is fucking rotten.” Just as it hits my nostrils I look at her in pure disgust and thinking to myself “that smell cannot be a fart because its absolutely horrendous”…. She starts to go red….. and as the cashier lifts the Full Chicken to scan it through she immediately says…. “I’m so sorry but I think that chicken is off…. Do you want me to get you a new one?”…. I haven’t seen a face go as red as quick in my life!!... “ermmm No, its ok im sure its fine” she says Im holding in a laugh and I wont lie I was absolutely mortified at the smell that was in our presence…… Horrid!.. The woman at the till decides to make the situation a lot worse by saying… “I do apologise in advance for my language but that is Fucking Disgusting, can you not smell that?” I turn and bury my head into my phone as she shouts for someone to come and fetch us a new chicken….. “You couldn’t get them another chicken please, that one there is rotten, you may check the rest of them as if they smell like that they need taken off the shelf and binned”….. She's stood there telling them its alright and not to worry…. Basically she just wants out of there. The smell was just lingering and not moving at all… twice I had to stop myself from boking. Then the lady decided to say… “That’s put me off my dinner, that is just not on.”.. Her face was as Red as the Devils Dick so I just had to step in to cool the situation down with a statement that cost me being able to watch match of the day last night… “I’m sorry about that love, She has actually just shit in her pants and was too embarrassed to say… so, the chickens fine.” Anyone a spare duvet? Status update.... We are no longer together. But the love for this post after all this time is very much appreciated!!!!!
I DON’T CARE IF THIS STATUS HAS ME SLEEPING ON THE SOFA TONIGHT BUT IT HAS TO BE DONE…. Standing in Asda yesterday doing a little bit of shopping, we had planned a nice Sunday dinner so we were down getting few bits and pieces needed to throw this dinner together…. Trolley full and it was time for the till….. Stacking stuff onto the counter and the other decides to tell me she has Farted….. So there I am awaiting a smell whilst throwing the rest of the stuff on and all I hear from her is a whispered… “Oh my god Adam… my fart is fucking rotten.” Just as it hits my nostrils I look at her in pure disgust and thinking to myself “that smell cannot be a fart because its absolutely horrendous”…. She starts to go red….. and as the cashier lifts the Full Chicken to scan it through she immediately says…. “I’m so sorry but I think that chicken is off…. Do you want me to get you a new one?”…. I haven’t seen a face go as red as quick in my life!!... “ermmm No, its ok im sure its fine” she says Im holding in a laugh and I wont lie I was absolutely mortified at the smell that was in our presence…… Horrid!.. The woman at the till decides to make the situation a lot worse by saying… “I do apologise in advance for my language but that is Fucking Disgusting, can you not smell that?” I turn and bury my head into my phone as she shouts for someone to come and fetch us a new chicken….. “You couldn’t get them another chicken please, that one there is rotten, you may check the rest of them as if they smell like that they need taken off the shelf and binned”….. She's stood there telling them its alright and not to worry…. Basically she just wants out of there. The smell was just lingering and not moving at all… twice I had to stop myself from boking. Then the lady decided to say… “That’s put me off my dinner, that is just not on.”.. Her face was as Red as the Devils Dick so I just had to step in to cool the situation down with a statement that cost me being able to watch match of the day last night… “I’m sorry about that love, She has actually just shit in her pants and was too embarrassed to say… so, the chickens fine.” Anyone a spare duvet? Status update.... We are no longer together. But the love for this post after all this time is very much appreciated!!!!!
